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The evolution of jean shorts in nine easy pieces:
The Retro: similiar here, here, and low-waisted version here.
The Eightie: buy it here.
The Nerd: similar dork-chic here.
The Waisted: here.
The D.I.High: similar here.
The Classic: similiar here.
The Barely: similar here.
The Undie: Make your own using these or these, or buy similiar here.
The Thong: make your own please.I know I am missing some real winners like the long skinny short and the garter short (from here), but I'd like to retain my eyesight, thanks very much.
So you're already over the jean short? Want to stay ahead of the pantsless game? Here are some inspirations for this summer and beyond.
And remember, in the future when you're wearing hotpants like it's totally normal, no one can hear you scream (except this guy ... when you wake up next to him).
Photo credits (left to right from top): Stylesightings, Pixie Market via Knightcat, Willabelle Winchester on Lookbook.nu, Cobrasnake, Pretty in Leather, Stylesightings, Fashiontoast, Vogue France via The Fashion Spot, Cobrasnake, Katy Perry via MTV, No Magazine, unknown pub. Knightcat, Lady Gaga via The Insider, Greg Kadel, Cobrasnake.
I am saving up my energies for an epic post about shorts, coming soon to a Holier near you, but I didn't know what to do in the meantime, so I've decided to tell a little story.
Today I went tanning. It was 42 degrees in NYC and raining, if that tells you what kind of tanning I was doing. It's true! I admit it. I couldn't help myself. It's wrong, but I've just been feeling so pale - how can I spend hours laying out pretty shorts collages and looking at bronzed legs without giving in?
Tanning is considered the tacky pastime of Britney Spears (I just had to look up how to spell Britney, ya'll!), but have you guys see Daria Werbowy lately? Her golden tan in those Isabel Marant ads? That girl's bio literally reads "Polish-born Canadian-Ukranian model," which I translate as "Pale-bodied Chalk-Model Permission-to-Tan." Oh Daria. When you do it, it's faux tanning.
So in honor of the noble art of approximating reality, I give you these brilliant items:
This amazing t-shirt was made by Malie Huffman and is for sale at her brilliant blog. I won't say the price because I'm hoping she raises it - she deserves more.
This quilted cotton bag is $100 at slowandsteadywinstherace and is worth every penny only because it's such a weird art object. I own it and trust me, it ain't no replacement for the real thing (... neither is this pale-pink cast I have going on today, but it felt good). P.S. Fake tanning (unless spray tan, which scares me) is bad for you so don't do it. And don't assume Daria's skin is pale white just because of her countries of origin, maybe she really is golden brown by nature, who the hell knows.
Maybe Chloe Sevigny's collection for Opening Ceremony (last Spring) was just a little ahead of its time, because aspects of the floral jumpsuit (I said aspects!) are appealing right now.
The tops and skirts seem like a versatile alternative to the skimpy Alicia Silverstone circa "Crazy" dresses that the Erin Wassonites are rocking, especially if you aren't 22 or a model.
And I love that you can find these little bustier tops hidden in a rack at Charlotte Russe - I think that's kind of the point of the look. After all, the technical name for these prints is ditsy florals (really).
I guess if you must (and can) do the dress, just go full-on nostalgia and get what you would have dreamed of wearing to a dance if you were in 8th grade in 1994- the Betsey Johnson. She's selling her own vintage now and there are definitely finds on the web. See here and here. And ok, ok, the Erin Wasson x RVCA is here if you haven't looked already.
As for the tops (from top):
1. Charlotte Russe $22.99
2. Top Shop $65.00
3. Forever 21 $16.90
And as for the skirt, hers (bottom right) is from H&M Europe, so happy hunting!
Photo credits (left to right from top): Alessandra Torresani by Todd Selby, Bronka B. on Lookbook.nu, The Cobrasnake, Fashion Toast.
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