I am saving up my energies for an epic post about shorts, coming soon to a Holier near you, but I didn't know what to do in the meantime, so I've decided to tell a little story.
Today I went tanning. It was 42 degrees in NYC and raining, if that tells you what kind of tanning I was doing. It's true! I admit it. I couldn't help myself. It's wrong, but I've just been feeling so pale - how can I spend hours laying out pretty shorts collages and looking at bronzed legs without giving in?
Tanning is considered the tacky pastime of Britney Spears (I just had to look up how to spell Britney, ya'll!), but have you guys see Daria Werbowy lately? Her golden tan in those Isabel Marant ads? That girl's bio literally reads "Polish-born Canadian-Ukranian model," which I translate as "Pale-bodied Chalk-Model Permission-to-Tan." Oh Daria. When you do it, it's faux tanning.
So in honor of the noble art of approximating reality, I give you these brilliant items:
This amazing t-shirt was made by Malie Huffman and is for sale at her brilliant blog. I won't say the price because I'm hoping she raises it - she deserves more.
This quilted cotton bag is $100 at slowandsteadywinstherace and is worth every penny only because it's such a weird art object. I own it and trust me, it ain't no replacement for the real thing (... neither is this pale-pink cast I have going on today, but it felt good).
P.S. Fake tanning (unless spray tan, which scares me) is bad for you so don't do it. And don't assume Daria's skin is pale white just because of her countries of origin, maybe she really is golden brown by nature, who the hell knows.